Yu Yu Hakusho Holy Grail!
by komiji flame
Summary: this is what happens when I'm bored, sugar high, am online, and when my parents don't want me to do this! Yu Yu Hakusho meets Monty Python's The Holy Grail. I don't own anything.
1. Swallows and Coconuts

from now on, I will be Neko, and that is who I will be. ps, might be a little out of character.

cast for scene 1:

Yusuke- King Arthur

Kuwa- Patsy the 'Horse'

Guard 1- Hiei

Guard 2- Neko

Scene 1

Kuwa: clop clop clop

Yusuke: woah there!

Hiei: who's there? go away!

Yusuke: it's me, Yusuke Urameshi, Spirit Detctive, Defeater of Togouru, Lord of the Saiyakashians.

Hiei: who cares, whadya want?

Yusuke: I've ridden scince the snows of winter have covered this land. I wanna speak with ya lord and master.

Hiei: ridden? on a horse? psh. suuuuuuuuuure, whatever.

Yusuke: um, yeah, I did. I did!

Hiei: you dolt! that's a human who's banging two coconuts together! fool!

Kuwa: I resent that!

Yusuke: shut it! ahem. we've ridden trough the Ningenkai, through-

Hiei: hey, where'd you get the coconuts?

Yusuke: what? oh, I found them.

Hiei: found them? the coconut's tropical!

Yusuke: so? wait, what's tropical?

Hiei: well, we're n a temprate zone. plus we're in the Reikai.

Yusuke: so? the swallow may fly south in the winter, or geese fly north in the summer, but those dumb birds aren't new here!

Hiei: ...are you saying the coconut migrates? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA!

Neko: Oo

Yusuke: NO! they could be carried!

Hiei: what? a swallow carying a coconut?

Yusuke: it could grip it by the uh...the...uh...um...hand gestures

Kuwa: whispers husk?

Yusuke: yeah! husk! it could grip it by the husk!

Hiei: that's not the piont. a 5 ounce swallow can't carry a 1 pound coconut.

Yusuke: doesn't matter. I need to speak to your lord to see if he wants to join me at Koenma's castle!

Neko: whispers to the readers note, Koenma is also God in scene 7!

Hiei: ...in order for a swallow to maintain air speed velocity, it needs to beat it's wings 43 times a second, right?

Yusuke: oh, come on!

Hiei: right?

Yusuke: I don't care!

Neko: pops up it could be a African swallow.

Hiei: yeah, but a European swallow, no. that's my point.

Neko: yeah, of course!

Yusuke: can I talk to ya lord! jeezez!

Hiei: but, African swallows are non migratory.

Neko: true, true.

Yusuke: f you! gosh! leaves

Kuwa: huh? oh, right. leaves clop clop clop

Hiei: so, they couldn't bring a coconut, anyway.

Neko:what if two swallows carried it?

Hiei: it'd have to be on a line.

Neko: duct tape, maybe?

Hiei: held under the dorsal guiding feathers?

Neko: why not? could happen!

Hiei: BRILIANT!

Neko: BRILIANT!


	2. Bring Out Your Dead!

Neko- I won't be in this scene today, but I tell ya-I don't own anything other than this computer and my imagination. I lost my sanity long ago.

cast for scene 2:  
cart master- Jin  
customer- Mukuro (Neko-Ihave something for her later...DEATH! ahem. onward.)  
dead person- Rinku

Scene 2  
Jin: bring ou' ya dead! clang bring ou' ya dead! clang 100 yen. bring ou' ya dead! clang  
Mukuro: here. take it. I don't want it.  
Jin: 100 yen.  
Rinku: hey! I'm not dead!  
Jin: he's not dead?  
Mukuro: yes he is.  
Rinku: ARE NOT! LEMMIE GO! squirms  
(Neko- don't you just love that word? _squirms_?)  
Jin: ai. let th' lad go.  
Mukuro: he will be dead in a moment. he's ill and getting worse.  
Jin: can' take 'im like tha'. s'gainst th' rules.  
Rinku: lemmie GO!  
Mukuro: to Rinku I won't let you go. to Jin can't you do me a favor? wait around?  
Jin: nope. Hiei killed 9 today.  
(Hiei- MWA HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! cough cough)  
Mukuro: when do you come back?  
Jin: Thurs.  
Rinku: I'll go for a walk! or a sprint! or a run!  
Mukuro: no.  
Rinku: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHH! kills Mukuro w/ yo yo's ahem. see ya later, Jin!  
Yusuke: rides by, to out of scene  
Jin: mus' be a Spirit Detective.  
Rinku: why?  
Jin: 'e 'asn' got shi' all over 'im.  
Rinku: nods mm hmm. word.


	3. We Don't Have One

Neko- This is a long one.I still don't own anything. if you found my sanity, keep it. I don't want it.

cast for scene 3:

Arthur: Yusuke

Dennis: Kurama

Woman Keiko

Scene 3

Yusuke: hey grandma!

Kurama: man.

Yusuke: wel sooo sorry. who lives in that castle?

Kurama: I'm 18.

(Neko- I really don't know. that's his age in my upcoming story Lost Soul)

Yusuke: wha?

Kurama: I'm 18, I'm not old.

Yusuke: right. who lives in that castle?

Kurama: I mean, you automaticly treat me as an inferior!

Yusuke: well, I am Spirit Detective.

Kurama: and how did you get that title? by exploiting the workers!

Yusuke: I don't even have workers! what does exploiting mean?

Kurama: you're hanging on to the social differences! if there's ever going to be any change around here-

Keiko: oh, Kurama! lovely crap down here! oh, uh...how do you do?

Yusuke: well, hi! I'm Yusuke Urameshi, Spirit Detective, Defeater of Togouru, Punk at Saiyakashi High, King of the Saiyakashiens.

Keiko: the who?

Yusuke: the Saiyakashiens.

Keiko: who are they?

Yusuke: we all are, and I am your king.

Keiko: I always thought we were just a group of people shoveling crap onto cloths to sell for who-knows-what reasons.

Kurama: you're fooling yourself. we live in a sort of dictatorship, where the lower class-

Keiko: there you go, bringing class into it again.

Yusuke: DAMN! WHO LIVES IN THAT FREAKIN CASTLE?

Keiko: no one.

Yusuke: then who's your king?

Kurama: we don't have one. we take turns being like an executive officer for a week...

Yusuke: yeah...

Kurama: his/her decisions must be approved by the popular vote...

Yusuke: get on with it!

Kurama: by a simple majority count...

Yusuke: be quiet!

Kurama: if the vote is more than two-thirds...

Yusuke: shut it! I order you to SHUT UP!

Keiko: order, huh? who do you think you are?

Yusuke: your king! how dense are you? I said that like 3 times!

Keiko: well, I didn't vote for you.

Yusuke: you don't vote for a king.

Keiko: then how did you become king?

angels sing

Yusuke: by Botan, who, when hovering on her oar, pulled from the pocket of her kimono the official papers, signi-signifie-err, _showing_ that I, Yusuke Urameshi, was to be a Spirit Detective, thus being your king.

angels stop

that's why, capice?

Kurama: look, floating girls handing out printer paper is no system of government! the ruler must be approved by the masses, not by some silly aireal distributation!

Yusuke: quiet!

Kurama: you can't expect to be king just because some rowboat girl was recycling!

Yusuke: shut it!

Kurama: I mean, if I went around saying I was emperor just because some flying lady had lobbed a crumpled up peice of trash at me, they'd put me in the loony bin!

Yusuke: shut up, will ya? SHUT UP!

Kurama: now we see the violence inhereted in the system!

Yusuke: shut up!

Kurama: come see the violence inhereted in the system! help! help! I'm being repressed!

Yusuke: stupid lowlife!

Kurama: that's what I'm talking about! what a give away! you see him repressing me? you swa, right? Keiko?

Keiko: whatever, Kurama.


	4. Bui The Black Knight

Neko: here we go, onto scene 4!

cast for scene 4:

Arthur- Yusuke

Green Knight- Togouru

Black Knight- Bui

Scene 4

Yusuke Uramashi theme music

Kuwa: clop clop clop

music stops

Togouru: aarrgg!

Dui: uungh!

music starts

Kuwa: clop clop clop

music stops

Bui: yahrgh! clang

Tigouru: uhhhghr! whack

music starts

Kuwa: clop clop clop

music stops

Yusuke: oh! watches the fight

Togouru: ahhhhhhhhhh!

Bui: hungh! kills Togouru

Yusuke: dude you're awesome!

pause

I'm Yusuke, King of the Saiyakashiens.

puase

I'm looking for some brave and strong people to join me at Koenma's castle.

puase

wanna join?

puase

you suck. come on, Kuwabaka. starts twords bridge

Bui: none shall pass.

Yusuke: wha-

Bui: none shall. pass.

Yusuke: I order you, as your king!

Bui: I move for no man.

Yusuke: dude, I don't wanna fight you. well, I do, but, not now.

Bui: then you shall die.

dramatic music

Yusuke: punches, kicks, ect. ah! ooh, ugh!

Bui: does same yah! oh, ga!

Neko: sitting on tree brach with Hiei look at those idiots.

Hiei: nods fools.

Yusuke: that's it! SPIRIT GUN! blows Bui's arm off hah! I win.

music stops

Bui: did not.

Yusuke: I blew your whole arm off!

Bui: did not.

Yusuke: then what's that? points to arm on floor

Bui: ...it's only a scratch. I've had worse.

Yusuke: you're lying!

Bui: come on then!

Yusuke: blows other arm off kneels Koenma, thanks alot that I can blow this sukers ass-

Bui: kicks Yusuke come on! chicken!

Yusuke: look, dumbass, you've got no arms.

Bui: it's just a flesh wound. chicken! chickennnnn!

Yusuke: look, I'll blow off your leg.

Bui: chick-

Yusuke: blows off Bui's leg hah! I win!

Bui: I'll get you for that!

Yusuke: what're you gonna do, bleed on me?

Bui: I always win! I never lose! you pansy!

Yusuke: whatever! blows off Bui's las leg come on, Kuwa.

Neko: shakes head look at that.

Hiei: it's almost too pathetic.

Neko: word.

Bui: you bleeps I outa bleepin rip your bleep head of and bleepin throw it on the bleepin ground! bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! bleep holes!

Yusuke: while leaving dude. chill.

Bui: on the verge of tears I'll bite your legs off! sob sob.


End file.
